Afternoon Tea on a Budget

Bea's of Bloomsbury
Last week my best friend, Larni and I celebrated becoming another year older (she is a whole three days younger than me) with a week-long marathon of fun and frolics. This tradition began 11 years ago and we are reluctant to give it up. This time around we found that food and alcohol featured highly, as did the fabulous West End show Legally Blonde and yet more alcohol.

We naturally celebrated with our own family and group of friends too, but our first treat, was just for the two of us and just about sums us up together - Champagne Afternoon Tea - in other words an afternoon of cakes and sweet things with a good glug full of bubbles - perfect.

It has to be noted that we were actually planning on doing outdoorsy, sight-seeing activities, mainly visiting the Tower of London, but good old England in June let us down and on the morning as the rain came and came we wondered what to do instead. Afternoon tea was suggested but I was doubtful we would find a slot anywhere, early, being so last-minute, and I didn't want to go for a late sitting as I was booked in to eat at Les Deux Salons on the evening.

As luck would have it, I had noticed a few days previously something on Twitter about Bea's of Bloomsbury doing Afternoon Tea, so I called, and we were in. I've long been a fan of Bea's, having previously worked just off of Theobalds Row, where the original resides, so I was quite keen to try out the newer addition to the family in the new shopping centre at St Pauls, One New Change.

I was delighted to find the decor modern, quirky and stylish. There was a brown theme throughout with the odd splashes of colour, and the ceiling was adorned with various lampshades in the guise of teapots, ingenius.

Many visits to the original had been on seriously stressed out days when only the thought of a coffee cupcake, a cup of tea and a natter with one of the girls could get me through the day, it almost represented a safe haven for a certain trio of friends, and the friendly staff at this branch with the delicious array of cakes was one of the reasons why we often returned.

I was immediately impressed that the owner of this establishment have clearly kept their staff selection skills up to scratch, the waitress who served us was accomodating, friendly and informative. We ordered our tea and informed her that Larni is a vegetarian, and she immediately went off to check if all of the cakes were veggie-friendly and to change the savoury sandwiches of hers to meat-free.

The sandwiches were actually small sections of crusty, white baguette and mine were a chorizo and cream cheese with a little green leaf. They were lovely, the smokey saltiness of the chorizo was complimented perfectly by the cream cheese.

One small complaint that we had was that actually, the meaty sandwiches were side by side with the veggie ones, to the point that one of them was actually touching the other, while this may seem a trifle point, let's face it if it was an allergy we were talking about, those wouldn't have been placed on the same plate at all, and really I don't think this should be treated differently. However as we were laden down with goodies, we ploughed on, I had the offending sandwich and found it didn't offend me in any way. It was a buffalo mozarella with tomato and a basil pesto - the pesto had seeped into the bread a little and given a magnificent flavour. It was like a little sandwich taste of Italy, lovely.

Next was a plain scone, the original, quintessential part of any respectable afternoon tea. It was lovely, buttery, light and crumbly, had a good moist texture and excellent seasoning so as not to be so sweet, which I often find scones can be. These were lovely with our pot of fresh clotted cream and strawberry jam too. They were however rather large, and I only eat half to make sure I had room for all the other goodies.

Two signature cupcakes were included in the tea, and as I've tried a number of these before, I was pleased to see two that I'd yet to try. One was a vanilla cupcake with a cassis topping, beautiful to look at with a pinky-purpley icing. The other was a chocolate base with a pistachio cream finish which was the minty green you would imagine, side by side they looked so pretty, it was almost a shame to crack into them. Somehow we found the strength though! We halved them both so we could try everything, and found that not only did they look good, they tasted great. The icing on both was immense, the kind where you'd happily stick your finger in and eat a little minus the cake. The cupcakes were both light and fluffy and in keeping with my favourite coffee ones of old.

The top layer of our tea was a selection of brownies and marshmallow. The marshmallow were just for me as these contain gelatine, which our friendly waitress kindly informed us of. They were lovely, the stuff of childhood memories, only better.

The final three treats I've deliberately left till the end - brownies. Those who know me will know I'm not a fan of brownies, I find that whenever I'm confronted by one they tend to lack flavour and be quite dry. I have been known to voice my irritation when they seem to always end up on dessert menus these days in some format too. However I will openly admit defeat where neccessary, and after trying this trio of brownies, I can say that I may be fast converting to the brownie-lover brigade.

The first was a Valrhona, or in other words a rich chocolatey affair, which I can vouch was very, very far from dry. The dark chocolate flavour was lovely and for the first time ever, I was left wanting more. The second was a Belgian Blondie, or in other words my favourite flavour of any cake - white chocolate! It was heavenly. I kept awaiting the moment where I could nod to Larni and say 'See this is why I don't like brownies!'. Perhaps it would come with the final treat - a peanut butter brownie - perhaps not. This was actually my surprise dish of the day, it was incredible. Not only was it not dry, it was creamy, it was chewy, it had a glorious nutty flavour running through the almost caramel like texture with chocolate, this was like food heaven. It reminded me a Snickers bar, but a bite size portion in glorious, wonderful cake format and all in one perfect texture.

On top of all of this wonderful confectionary we had a pot of Jing tea, and to mark the occassion of our birthday a glass of Moet & Chandon - we felt it'd be rude not to.

We both thoroughly enjoyed this very English tradition and it has to be said that if anyone is looking to experience a real Afternoon Tea without the expense of The Ritz and the like, this is a top-notch, quality alternative.

We had the Champagne Afternoon Tea which at £22.50 is very cheap for the capital. However if Champagne is not for you then it is only £15 per person for the standard Afternoon Tea - definitely a bargain.

Bea's of Bloomsbury's is a quirky, sophisticated venue with cakes to die for and great service. I'm hoping to see more of these around the capital, and hope they retain their excellent staffing and high quality food.

One final note: if like Larni and myself you enjoy the Champagne Afternoon Tea at Bea's and find that one glass of bubbles is just not enough, copy our style and pop a few doors along to Searcy's where you can enjoy one of their Champagne cocktails. They have daily deals on, but as we were feeling flamboyantly decadent after our fun afternoon we ignored these and went for a Strawberry Bellini and a classic Kir Royale and both were fantastic.

http://www.beasofbloomsbury.com/

http://www.searcys.co.uk/one-new-change-champagne-bar/home/

Jamaican BBQ

National BBQ Week

National BBQ week kicked off today and just over a week ago I enjoyed one of the most idyllic BBQ's on holiday in beautful Montego Bay. Most people can appreciate the joy of fine dining but sometimes the simpler things in life make for the best memories, and in this case it was certainly true.

A few days into my fortnight holiday with my parents and two brothers at the glorious Iberostar Rose Hall Beach , the 5 of us were already fully enjoying the fantastic food on offer at the four various restaurants. Breakfast, lunch and dinner filled us with what seemed like endless options of deicious food, some recognisable and some very much Jamaican and alien dishes to us - we really did feel spoilt for choice.

When the 'Jerk BBQ' was announced we were a little excited to see how Jamaican's enjoyed their al fresco dining compared to our typically Brit burgers and bangers fare.

We were invited to start the meal at 1230, but this was being cooked early on from around 11 on the gorgeous hotel beach, with a band of steel drums and singer setting the party tone up nicely. We listened to an array of Bob Marley classics, the smell of jerk filled the air and we tapped our feet and licked our lips expectantly.

The atmosphere on the beach was just fantastic, aside from the food and the music, everyone present was on their holidays, the sun was shining and the beach couldn't have been a more inviting setting for lunch. Whilst in the restaurants everyone stayed within their couple, family or group, here everyone was happy to sit together mixing with various strangers and just genuinely enjoying each others company.

We were promised "jerk everything" and the chefs really didn't disappoint. I chose some jerk pork, jerk chicken and jerk grouper, over which I spooned the accompanying, sticky jerk sauce which really intensified the heat and the flavours allowing the scotch bonnets to make their presence known. All was absolutely mouth-wateringly delicious.

I also had some curried goat with the obligatory rice and peas, a little salad and some coco bread, which was a new experience. I was delighted to find this Jamaican curry had a depth of flavour and a good fire to it, but the coconut cream based sauce really balanced this out to make for a very tasty curry. The meat was cooked well, was tender, flavourful and fell apart in your mouth - superb.

The rice and peas was nice and had an almost nutty taste to it, however it was very different to how I've experienced it in the UK in that it was of a much drier consistency, was great to try the authentic dish though.

Of course the salad was perfect to cool down the mouth and cleanse the palate a little with all that spice and the deliciously sweet, almost cake-like coco bread went down a treat too.
The meal was washed down with pink lemonade, rum punch and an ice cold Red Stripe beer. There was tons of other food to choose from including various salads, potatoes, coleslaws, plantain, vegetables and patties, but I wanted to save a little room as I'd already eyed the colourful and tempting array of cakes and pastries.

I went for a small orange cake and a pink and white concoction, The first was one of the lightest little orange flavoured sponges I've ever had the pleasure of trying with a segment ofjuicy orange on top - heaven. The final treat was a traditional coconut ice, tasty, very, very sweet and in all the perfect ending to a perfect meal.

Happy BBQ season people - may you all be adventurous in what you BBQ.

Let's Hear It For The Girls

Last Saturday I joined my two fabulous friends Larni Godfrey and Hayley Waters along with hundreds of other women at London's 02 kitted out in pink on a 5K 'run' supporting Cancer Research UK at one of their many summer Race For Life events.

Having all lost a close one to the disease we were keen to show our support for the charity and signed up a couple of months back with every intention of training so that we could run the distance, raise some important pennies and maybe even get a little fitter into the bargain.

Life in general, plus a lifetime habit of laziness, meant the training never took place and so we walked the race instead with tons of other women, in just under 50 minutes. We found that the atmosphere was electric on the day, everyone was there for the same cause, and it wouldn't have mattered if we had run, walked, crawled or cartwheeled round.

We couldn't help but feel inspired and uplifted by the bravery of some of the racers. We saw women, old and young taking part who were clearly undergoing chemotherapy, and while this was poignant and upsetting its only spurned us on. And whilst it was heartbreaking to see a little girl of about 4 years old racing with the sign on her back saying 'For my mummy' it just brought home to us how important events like these are to help fight this disease and support those living with it and their loved ones too.

Between the three of us we raised a rather respectable £915 and I'd just like to say well done to Larni and Hayley for this and a thank you to all who sponsored us. We all get sent tons of requests to sponsor people doing various feats for charity - and often people may just ignore it, but you can sponsor as little as £2, and it might help another little girl from losing her mummy or her daddy.

While this is a complete departure from my usual posts, I felt compelled to write about our experience and highlight the wonderful work that Cancer Research UK carry out. If you'd like to make a donation to the charity you can by visiting www.raceforlife.org/support-race-for-life/make-donation.aspx

Cupcakes

On a related and slightly lighter note - our greedy selves were delighted when we arrived at the event and discovered a cupcake stand, with a selection of pink-themed vanilla cupcakes.

After finishing the race we all treated ourselves to one, and they were absolutely gorgeous, sweet, tasty and they looked absolutely beautiful. The lady that runs this company, Fiona Mallin, runs classes to teach people how to make these cakes, and I am signing up for one of her classes which I will be sharing soon.

I've included a photo so you can see how pretty the cakes are and to find out more you can visit: www.fionamallin.co.uk

Simple Supper - Gnocchi Pasta Bake

Sometimes in my life when preparing a meal for loved ones, I have all the time in the world, and can lovingly and leisurely prepare dishes that I’m quite proud of and which demonstrate the passion that’s have gone into them.Other times I might get home from work on a Friday evening, realise that dinner-making duties have fallen on my unwilling shoulders, and have very little motivation or energy for it. On these days I rely on my ‘simple suppers’, which basically do exactly what they say on the tin. They’re not time consuming, take little effort, fill a food hole, and fill it well.Last week I called on an old favourite – a Gnocchi Pasta Bake - which I adapt according to what’s in the fridge at the time – a crowd pleaser, that’s filling, comforting and damn-right yummy. But the real beauty of this dish is that it literally is completely changeable dish that can depend exactly on what’s already in stock – it’s also a very cheap dinner, so perfect for the end of the month, before pay-day when money might be tight.

This time I made the very easy sauce by sautéing chopped spring onions, (can use any type!), a little crushed garlic (optional), and some chopped smoked bacon. For ideal results I would use pancetta, but bacon was in the fridge and meant I didn’t have to leave the house, so bacon was used, and it gave a nice smoky flavour. I also chucked in 2 mushrooms, chopped – which again were left in the bottom of the fridge.

Once this was nicely cooked I added a tub of crème fraiche and cooked for about five minutes. While all of this was going on I cooked some fresh Gnocchi – or pasta potato dumplings – which only take a couple of minutes in boiling water and drained. I broke up a couple of fresh mackerel fillets that were in the fridge and mixed all in together with some chopped parsley and placed into an ovenproof dish.

It goes without saying that this must be seasoned to taste as you go along with salt and ground black pepper. I have made this with chicken before and it’s just as tasty – but I do love oily fish at this time of year.Finally I grated on some Cheddar (again a fridge essential – but other cheese would work just as well, especially a Mozarella or Emental which have that nice melting quality). This was then baked in the over for 25 minutes until the cheese was lightly browned and et voila – dinner was served.

I served with a simple salad thrown together. And in the 25 minutes the dinner took to cook I had time to clear away, lay the table and most importantly open a bottle of cold Pinot Grigio and pour myself a generous glass as a reward for all that hard cooking. Simples!

Royal Wedding Tea Party

Royal wedding fever gripped the nation throughout April and it was decided early on that to honour the nuptials of William and Kate we would host an intimate oh-so-English tea party.

The women in my family and a couple of my close friends came together to celebrate the most exciting British event to have occurred in, at least, my lifetime.

So on the 29th April 2011 after a rather decadent breakfast of smoked salmon and strawberries and Bucks Fizz, my mum Vicky, Nanny Pat, aunty Karen and my two very good friends Larni and Stephanie and I sat in glorious anticipation of the wedding, the outfits the women would be wearing and especially the dress that Kate would be wearing. We weren't disappointed in any way, and oohed and ahhed with what seemed like the rest of the nation as William turned to Kate at the altar and said 'You're Beautiful'. There wasn't many a dry eye in my house, aside from the cold-hearted, cynical ones (no names).

After the ceremony we found we were quite hungry and so the tea party began. We naturally had the quintessential selection of dainty finger sandwiches fit for royalty as well as an array of British savoury food stuffs courtesy of my mum, Vicky. With a mass of very British sandwich fillings including beef and horseradish, ham and mustard, cucumber and cream cheese and my mum's speciality poached salmon, watercress and mayonaise - which was the undisputed flavour of the day and all the other titbits we weren't about to go hungry.

Whilst my mum sorted the savoury - I was on sweet duty. Firstly I only granted Stephanie access to the party if she brought along one of her mum Debbie's cakes. We try to get one of Debbie's cakes at any opportunity, and the only way I can describe these creations is like couture cakes - made to measure any brief. Aside from being delicious they are always beautifully presented fitting the occassion. Already this year we've had a specially designed cake for my cousin's 21st birthday and a cheeky baked cheesecake which kept our family raving for days, and literally lasted minutes in my house! For the tea party we were presented with a genteel and fittingly regal Victoria sponge cake, topped with a rich vanilla buttercream and fresh strawberries, and a strawberry jam filling. It was moist, rich, delicious and a very welcome addition to our 'spread.'

I also dug out my apron and did a little festive baking myself. First I made three batches of cupcakes, vanilla, chocolate and lemon. Sticking to a simple fairy cake recipe from childhood and adding the various flavour additions (cocoa and a little melted chocolate, lemon juice and zest, and the the contents of a vanilla pod), I then iced with a simple Mascarpone topping and have to say that sometimes, the old recipes are the best - they were light and tasty. Larni loved the vanilla ones and took some home for her family - personally I was more partial to the chocolate, but then what's new.

Finally I had been keen to try and make macaroons for a while, I always enjoy them out, and love the look of them so I made my first attempt at the little almondy treats.

I'll readilly admit that I am no confectioner or pastry chef, more a willing have-a-go cook, and have very little artistic flair so was critical of my own presentation, but luckilly the flavour and lightness were good. Also I don't own and didn't have time to source a piping bag, so I had to improvise - I did so by using freezer bags and snipping a little hole in the corner - hence why the sizes of them all completely vary!

I certainly had fun experimenting with the food colouring and was pleased with the very sweet, almondy results, the presentation may have been bad, but practise makes perfect, so I'll aim better next time.

We absolutely loved the wedding and our little tea party and it naturally ended with us all having a tipple or two. As we did on the day lets just raise our glasses once again to the beautiful couple - congratulations Will and Kate.

If you are keen to find out more about made-to-order designer cakes from the delightful Debbie or to view an online catalogue of designs please contact Stephanie Fletcher who can be found @Fletch_Master.

If you would like to attempt to make similarly mis-shapen, varying sized Macaroons see recipe below:

Macaroons
Ingredients
150g ground almonds
250g sifted icing sugar
Seeds of 2 split vanilla pods
2 large egg whites
For the butter cream:
140g softened butter, salted
280g icing sugar
1-2 tbsp milk (full fat)
2 drops vanilla essence

*Preheat the oven to 150 degrees and line a couple of trays with baking paper (greased)
* Put the almonds, icing sugar and vanilla into a bowl.
*Whisk the egg whites until firm and fold in
*Add whichever food colouring to make the desired colour - or cocoa, just 1 drop will do
*Spoon mixture into a piping bag (or improvised freezer bag with snip in corner)
* Pipe little mounds on the trays - try to pipe in equal sie and shape if possible
* Leave to cool
For the butter cream
* Beat the butter in a bowl till soft
* Add half the icing sugar and beat until smooth
* Add the rest of the sugar with the vanilla extract and milk and beat until creamy
*Sandwich macaroons together with a little butter cream

Out with the veggies - The Olive Tree, Loughton, Essex

Having spent two gloriously long, hot summers and countless holidays on various Greek islands, I do count myself as a bit of an authority on good, Greek food. Ever since my love affair with Helenic food began I have been on the hunt for a good local taverna-style restaurant but have found several places sadly lacking in both substance and authenticity.

When a friend suggested a Mediterranean place that’s been open on nearby Loughton High St for 3 years, which I’d yet to sample, I agreed in blind hope and silently prayed it wouldn’t be yet another disappointment!

Checking out the menu online, I was impressed, with the dishes on offer – and even more excited to see one of the owners is called Manos – a true Greek name! If anything sent minor alarm bells off, it was the fact that it is billed as ‘Mediterranean’ rather than just Greek, Spanish, Portuguese, but I thought I will just have to go with an open mind and an empty stomach and see what happens.

So on Easter Saturday after a day in the gorgeous sunshine, I joined three close friends Larni, Jenni and Hayley for a pre-dinner cider in a Loughton watering hole and then we took a very civilised and leisurely stroll over to The Olive Tree.

The glass-fronted doors were wide open with a small terrace area where diners were enjoying their meal al fresco, and the weather was certainly on form for it. We were greeted by the incredibly friendly waiting staff, who walked us to our table and who continued to be helpful, attentive and generally charming throughout the meal – so far, so Greek.

The restaurant was incredibly busy, every table occupied and the atmosphere was good - groups of friends and family and couples alike seemed to be enjoying their Saturday evening. On arrival our noses were assaulted by an array of delicious smells and the hopes for a great meal were rising.
Two of the girls were driving and so opted for the virgin cocktails which both went down well, Larni went for a tropical Pina Colada which was lovely and reminiscent of many a holiday tipple. I chose a Jamaican Mule, which comprised of Morgan’s Spiced Rum, lime, bitters and ginger ale, and was absolutely gorgeous. Refreshing, sharp and with a strong alcohol bite, it was a perfect start to a divine evening.

Being out with the vegetarian crew (yes all three of them!) the meze was ruled out, but there were so many nice sounding appetisers, that this wasn’t a problem. Jenni opted for a simple selection of bread with olive tapenade, Larni for an old favourite – tzatsiki with pitta and Hayley and I shared two slightly heavier starters – Mushroom Crostini and Halloumi & Aubergine Stacks.

The first of our shared dishes comprised, as the name suggests, lightly grilled ciabatta topped with delicious garlic infused, sautéed wild mushrooms, , toasted pine nuts, rocket and shavings of salty parmesan. A simple dish, but executed brilliantly and not a crumb left once we’d got through it. My favourite though was the stacks of creamy, slightly melting halloumi, with herby soft layers of aubergine and slices of plump, juicy beef tomato. Everything was so, so fresh with a small smattering of oregano and I was in my element with it.

For a main Jenni – our most sensible, calorie-counting friend - went for a Greek Salad – which did look lovely, and again really fresh, bright and colourful. The presentation was great, and the dish did put us in mind of a Greek taverna.

Hayley had the Butternut Squash and Sage Tortellini which had a brandy-based creamy sauce. The dish was presented beautifully with an addition of Sweet Potato Crisps, which gave the dish a sweet, crunchy texture. Hayley enjoyed the meal and claimed it was ‘delicious’ and she made plenty of yummy noises. (Keen to point out here I was offered to try some but greed for my own enormous main, prevented me from fitting anything else in!)

Larni had a main of Gemistes, or tomatoes and peppers stuffed with rice, herbs, pistachios and feta. It has to be said that Larni can be a very tough critic when it comes to food – and she fell in love with gemistes in Corfu on a girls holiday we went on a few years back. I was hoping these would match up to that standard but need not have worried, they were perfect, and the addition of the Greek cheese to the dish gave it a new, tasty dimension.

Finally I chose the Stuffed Pork Souvlaki, with great difficulty, as I was also tempted by the a few of the fish dishes as well as the stiffado, a Greek beef stew. I was on tenterhooks as to whether the souvlaki would live up to my high Greek expectations. This is a dish I’ve had more times than I care to remember, a great favourite, and so may seem like a boring choice, but as I mentioned, I’d yet to find anywhere outside of Greece where this was done well.

I can honestly say that this souvlaki actually surpassed any other I’ve ever had. The added twist of stuffing the rolled meat with Italian ham was absolutely genius and the flavour explosions were just fantastic. I felt reminiscent of happy times in Greece, but also loved the modern addition and felt the salty meat gave it an extra kick of deliciousness. As well as the usual Greek mixture of herbs a sharp lemony flavour penetrated the meat and helped keep it nice and juicy. Food heaven for me.

Both mine and Larni’s dishes were served with hand cut, chunky, herby, garlicy chips. They were heartily sized and lovely.

Mine was also served with pitta and tzatsiki, and I couldn’t resist (yes the greed rears it’s ugly head again) another side of tarramasalata – the delicious fish-roe dip. Unlike so many synthetic pre-packed versions that you can pick up in UK supermarkets, this didn’t have the marshmallow looking bright pink colour, and was just a simple white hue. It was, as with everything else I ordered, mouth-wateringly tasty.

Unfortunately for us, as all of the portions were so large and delicious, not one of us could even attempt to order dessert, which was a real shame as the menu looked great.

Overall the meal was absolutely a resounding success. Not one of us had any complaints in relation to the food, if we had any gripe at all, it would simply be to reduce the portion size slightly so we could fit in dessert next time! The restaurant was furnished well, and having a peek in the open-plan kitchen on the way to the toilet demonstrated a clean and tidy working environment. We paid around £30 a head for two courses and drinks which we were all very happy with. I can’t remember the last time I was met with such attentive and friendly staff and I would have no qualms about returning to and recommending the restaurant to friends and family. Also since visiting the website after our meal I notice the restaurant offers various musical entertainment so it is definitely worth checking out.

The Olive Tree is situated on Loughton High St, Essex and to book a table or find out more you can call Jackie or Manos on 020 8502 3332. You can find them online at www.theolivetreeloughton.co.uk

You can also read this review in the July edition of Scene Magazine or online here: http://issuu.com/scenemag/docs/sme_jul_2011_web

Sunday Delight in Essex - Simply Seafood, Leigh-On-Sea

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Sunday’s were once the domain of the family lunch, however this old tradition has become something of a rarity in recent times, especially in our family. As I’m reluctantly creeping into my late twenties and even the ‘baby’ brothers are blossoming into young men rather than boys, we find that we all have busy lives and finding any day at all where we’re all free is proving increasingly problematic. This coming Sunday (17^th April) happily, we will all be in London together for one of our own traditions - watching the marathon together, and will then be going to dinner for the first time in a while together, so we are all looking forward to that.

While these opportunities of full family togetherness are rare, we do snatch lunch or dinner together, when it’s just 2 or 3 of us around too and a couple of Sunday’s back me and my mum, Vicky did just that. Making the most of the spring sunshine, we pulled out our shades and journeyed a mere half hour down the road to what I like to think of as the Costa Del Essex – Leigh-on-Sea. This little gem is a stone’s throw away from the ‘Benidorm’ of the Thames Estuary, Southend, and whilst that does offer certain delights that cannot be denied, Leigh is like it’s slightly more upmarket cousin.

Synonymous to locals with seafood stalls or what are called the ‘cockle sheds’, and long-established fish and chip shops, Leigh is becoming ever more cosmopolitan with it’s rising choice in restaurants, all specialising in locally caught fish and seafood. As a family we have tried a few of the offerings, however, as our jaunts ‘down the A13’ are usually spur-of-the-moment trips inspired by a rare ray of sunshine, we have often been turned away from some due to not booking ahead. So it was to our delight and astonishment that we were granted a table in Simply Seafood, in their outdoor terrace – and this is where the fun really began.

The restaurant itself is a converted cockle shed, quite compact, glass-fronted and inhabited by quite smartly dressed diners. We were on the covered terrace, which was also heated, and were one of three tables occupied. The other two were couples – pensioners were one of the couples, and a 50+ man and his lady companion of a similar age. I wouldn’t normally go into detail about fellow diners, however I feel I must, or else neglect to share our lunchtime entertainment – but more of that shortly.

The waitresses in the terrace area clearly weren’t designated to that area, more they popped their heads in as and when they thought necessary when they weren’t running around in the main run of the restaurant, they were however friendly and informative.

We opted for a tasting plate to begin, as couldn’t decide on a starter each from the rather extensive menu. We were rather concerned when it arrived, as it was enormous, however we somehow managed to squeeze most of it in. It consisted of delicious olives and crostini, a tuna carpaccio, a smoked salmon pate, rocket and Parmesan salad, Thai fish cakes and prawn bruschetta.

The prawn bruschetta was unfortunately a complete disappointment, the prawns were overcooked, rubbery and flavourless, and the tomato and basil which accompanied them on the toasted ciabatta were also limp and lacking in any taste at all. Also there was four big portions of this, which was annoying, we dumped the prawn mixture and used the ciabatta to host the smoked salmon pate which, in contrast, was well seasoned, creamy and quite frankly delicious. Similarly the tuna carpaccio was perfectly seasoned and melted in the mouth with a farewell kiss to the tastebuds, and worked so, so well with the rocket and Parmesan. One other small gripe was that the Thai fish cakes, were distinctly lacking in fish, they were made up mostly of potatoes, with a little flaked salmon, and white fish. That said, they were very tasty and certainly got eaten, so it is indeed a minimal complaint.

It was whilst waiting for our starter that the aforementioned “entertainment” began. The younger couple, (who weren’t young by any stretch of the imagination), were seated directly in front of me, they were seated side-by-side, rather than opposite each other and the reason for this soon became clear. In normal dining circumstances they were seated sufficiently far enough away for us to enjoy private conversation of our own and vice versa, however this couple were loud and proud and happy to be heard. It became apparent, very early on during lunch that these were a relatively new couple on maybe their fourth or fifth date. It also became common knowledge on the terrace that this pair had not yet consummated their relationship, however were keen to do so, and fast.

Whilst my mum and I found the amorous antics of this couple quite amusing, it was also vulgar and inappropriate at the least, and it soon became clear that the older couple were unimpressed. The gentleman of the pensioners, was heard loudly stating how ‘disgusting’ certain behaviour was and that he was utterly disappointed in this, the worst meal he’d ever endured in that particular restaurant. To our slight shame, his anger, simply added to our merriment, and we were really quite enjoying ourselves. I must mention that at this point, aside from the language used, there was full-frontal kissing, cuddling, and at one point the woman had her arms around the man’s neck and was resting her head on his chest.

Anyway back to the food – for a main in Simply Seafood you are able to choose between a small or a large plate. This is great for lunch and for those with a smaller appetite. Once again the menu had countless options, but my mum went for a tian of crab with mixed leaf, and I chose sautéed scallops with butternut and parsnip puree and spinach. My mum’s was, a bit like the prawn bruschetta, a little bland and flavourless, and she didn’t really manage to eat much of it, but she was quite full from the first course, so it wasn’t a massive issue.

My scallops were cooked perfectly and were succulent and juicy, releasing delicate flavours to the dish. The butternut and parsnip puree was well done, and as you might imagine, a very sweet side, to the scallops. The spinach was overcooked, and released quite a bit of excess water onto the plate, however it was well seasoned and in all, the dish was very pleasing, and presented beautifully.

By this point we wanted to get back out into the remaining sunshine, so we opted out of dessert. Also the tension in the room was building – the amorous couple had upped their offensive game, and I kid you not, had moved onto finger-sucking, which had actually resulted in a burst of loud laughter from me, but the other couple were clearly annoyed, and we were quite glad to be getting out of there. The waitresses although nice, were completely oblivious to any tensions or wrong-doings in the terrace.

Our meal on the whole wasn’t bad, although we both agreed we’d had better in the area. There were some really delicious elements to the meal, such as the tuna carpaccio, the salmon pate, and my main course dish as a whole was lovely. There were a few disappointments too, the flavourless prawns, and the unappetising crab. We agreed that we would maybe try the restaurant again – as it did show some promise, and if we

weren’t bowled over by the food, we hadn’t had such a funny lunch in ages.

Lunch for two at Simply Seafood came in at around the £45 mark with an array of soft drinks.

To find out more about the restaurant or book a table please visit: www.simplyseafood.co.uk